Hello Again Blogging World

going to see wicked

Oh goodness me, my life is beautiful right now! I have such an incredible story right now. I have an amazing and supportive family, a phenomenal job, and an outstanding man in my life who makes everything so much more fun and worthwhile.

M and I have known each other for awhile but we started "dating dating" just a bit ago. It seems as though I have known him my whole life. In the year that we have known each other, it feels so much longer-I feel completely comfortable telling him anything and everything that crosses my mind. I guess that was when I first realized I was in love, when I realized that I could tell him any random thing and know he wasn't going think me weird for thinking it.

 

 

He is so much fun, so optimistic, and wise. I always tell him how good he is, which I genuinely mean as one of the highest compliments. Today, people are not good, they feel they have to be. M is not good because he has to due to obligation, he is because it is who he is and what he has learned from life.

 

If anyone would have told me that this is where my life would be in 5 months, I would have laughed right in their face and thought they were psychotic. I am sure happy that didn't happen, so I don't have to apologize to anyone for scoffing at their proper prediction. 

 

 

"Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever." - Lance Armstrong

I love this quote. Maybe the man is no longer the hero we all thought he was, but his words still ring truth and power in them.

 In another blog I will go into more detail about all of what has happened in my life, but I have something else on my mind for today.....

 

Something that has been festering in me lately is the lack of respect we have for civility anymore. It seems that all anyone says--including myself is hate. " Oh I hate that show" "I hate fish" "I hate that presidential candidate". Now I am a firm believer in having an opinion in everything, it keeps you being you. But I do feel however that we as a generation have lost the civility that needs to be attached with having such opinions that are pressing on other people's beliefs.

 That is the BIG DEAL HERE. YOUR OPINION IS YOUR BELIEF, JUST AS MY OPINION IS MINE. We somehow have lost that respect for difference. We, and I say we openly because I am guilty, you may decide for yourself whether you are too. But we throw things that are different to the side, whether it be in religious discussions, political, or something as simple as favorite seasons. We do not like to hear the other side, because what if they say something that strikes you or me? What if I then begin to agree with the opposition?  

Especially in religion, when people are no longer serving missions I feel like this a huge issue. I'm going to be bold because this is my blog and if you do not like what I have to say then please stop reading. If you are firm in your belief then you can discuss religion, moral problems, ethical predicaments, and politics without feeling like you are going to be changed. Those who do not talk about anything pertinent are living with their head in the cloud and are not allowing themselves to be enlightened. To see the other side and still hold to yours is the greatest understanding one could have. I love and cherish knowledge. I have invested my life into. The Art of War is one of the greatest I have ever owned, here is a piece of wisdom from it's pages:

 

Easy to find--buy it!

"It is said that if you know your enemies and know yourself, you will not be imperiled in a hundred battles; if you do not know your enemies but do know yourself, you will win one and lose one; if you do not know your enemies nor yourself, you will be imperiled in every single battle".Sun Tzu

 

As I said at the beginning of this I love my life. This has just been on my mind. I know not what or who is the culprit to the deprivation of civility. I just think that we all need to try a little harder to be civil, not only for the sake of respect, but also as Sun Tzu says, when you are tolerant and hear other opinions out you will then know how to take on the next battle if you lose that one. Use it as an internal motivator if needs be.

 

I love my life. I love my job.  I love my family & friends. It is full of good people. Laughter. Amazing memories. Conversations that are so deep they would hit the bottom of the ocean and need to go through it. I love where I am in life. I love who I am and the path I have taken to get here.

Remember, remember the fifth of November,
The gunpowder treason and plot

I know of no reason

Why the gunpowder treason

Should ever be fought

The Ugly Duckling becomes a Beautiful Swan

~I'm free!~

Once upon a time I was like a caged bird that had clipped wings and confined to live my life in a cage. But then life opened the door to freedom and allowed me to have the opportunity to fly anywhere my heart desires. What caused this freedom?

It was sparked by the braces coming off this past week!

You see before I had the braces, I was an ugly duckling with a excessive upper beak, but with patience and help by an amazing orthodontist (and staff) they transformed this beak into a beautiful mouth.

 This transformation was not even close to occurring overnight. Oh no, 29 long months of time had to go into the process of turning the ugly duck into the swan.  Not only was time a factor in this transformation, but also being a volunteering to be a guinea pig. I underwent having 12 screws 

placed into my mouth to help correct the issue. Yes, I had 12 real screws that were drilled/ twisted/ forced into my jaw bone and upper palate bone. Luckily they were not all at the same time. At one moment I had, I think 5 in at one time. So you may be thinking, why so many then? Well some of them were pushed out by my bone rejecting it the metal, some became loose, and some of them became imbedded and my palate healed over it.

 Now, why did I feel captive, because I was. I couldn't go anywhere too far, because I always had to be back in the following 4-6 weeks to get them tightened, new procedures, or just a check up. It was while caged that I thought and tried to decide what I want to do with my life. Keep my roots in an area or move, bounce around the country. By being stuck here didn't help my hunger to travel. I want to go to Boston and see the roads John Adams walked. I want to visit Andy in Chicago and work in a museum making history for others come alive. 

And now, my transformation is complete. After being in braces for 6 years all together(a few months in elementary and 3 years in jr. high), my teeth are beautiful, and I am so happy with them. My dreams are now in reach to becoming reality with the cage finally off of me and allowing me to spread my wings and fly.

I'm so free, I went to mars!!

Don't get me wrong, I still want to teach, but since I suck at standardized test puts that particular dream to be put on hold until it becomes a giant mountain that gets off that path. I love teaching and I miss it more than anything. But until that test becomes a mountain in my rear view mirror, I have to put other dreams ahead of it so I don't become stagnate. But right now all I can do is continue to lick my slimy, shinny, beautiful, gorgeous teeth!!

It was very fun to watch my friends this past weekend try and decide what was different with me and finally someone realized that my chains were off and I was free!!!! 

We had a blast getting chased by security in Gateway, apparently you cannot do scavenger hunts....that didn't stop us. What a blast, I loved being with everyone. It was just what I needed to get my spirit up and my heart ready to take flight!!!

Birthday WIshes

sometimes this is how I feel

I have been thinking back on my birthday about a weeks ago, which then had me think on my past birthdays, and they have been great!!

I had an amazing group birthday party my sophomore year.We had three actual birthdays in February, and two half birthdays. It was so much fun and very mush so a full house!! This was by far one of the most amazing years of my college experience, which I have blogged about previously.

NEXT....

 My awesome family took me to WENDOVER for my 21st birthday! Luckily, it landed on a Friday and it was much fun to go and gamble some money away with them. I am happy I was able to experience my first official game of black jack and slots was with my family.

Another GREAT birthday-

When a very dear friend, surprised me with a party. She even made fruit pizza and cupcakes!! We were just able to talk and mingle with friends and friends of friends. She is such a great person and I really appreciate all that she did for me that day.

This year, I was able to go see a movie with my family, eat dinner, and scream and each other while playing a game call PIT . The movie we saw was The Woman in Black which was actually really good, I jumped quite a bit.

The best part was getting tricked by my brother with my gift. He gave me his copy of the Mockingbird, some FunDIP, a Lemonade. I thought it was weird that he gave me candy, but I didn't say anything. He asked me how far I was in the book before I had to give it back to him. I flip it open and find in the front of the book a concert ticket to one of my favorite bands!!  

MAYDAY PARADE here I come!!

Hopefully we can hang out again this time!!!!!

I guess the reason I have been thinking about my previous birthdays so much is because I am reaching nun approved age. HA. At least that is what my community thinks of me. I think I am apart of the generation that is muffling between how things used to be, traditionally, to how they are everywhere else in the nation. 

I am 23 years old. I have my BA and am beginning a new adventure in a new-ish town. 

I am successful! I am intelligent. I am excited to begin the new adventures of my life with a career. I know that I am where I am for a reason and I am beginning to try and adjust to it as best I can. Going from a small town to a commuter town is not easy. I just read a lot. I reminisce a lot at work, hence where the idea for this post came from.

Hero

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. is not just a man who gave many people the day off today, he is a hero. A hero being a person who does something not because they have to, or because the get a reward for it. A person is a hero for doing something because no one else will and they stand by what they believe no matter what storm they must face. 

Dr. King is a hero of mine. He served and fought for equality for everyone. He fought not only for equality based on the color of our skin, but also to find economic justice. Dr. King Jr. showed how much you can accomplish by not throwing fits or hateful words, but by communicating and using nonviolence. Undoubtedly he is one of the greatest people to help create a better America. 

I find it so disheartening that people will try and crucify his name with slander and hate. There is a .org website that is either the third or fourth link that pops up when his name is searched that is owned by Stormfront.  

Stormfront is a white nationalist. Their motto is "White Pride World Wide". They have terrible and faulty things posted on this website. It is an opinion that I will not tolerate, I can't after all the good this one man has done, I just don't want to hear anything bad.

I am so happy a monument has  finally been put up a memorial for him on this day in which we honor him and all those who fought and continue to fight for equality. Dr. King had a dream, and his dream is continuing to come true. I love reading through his speeches and taking this day to remember and recognize his influence on my life today.

Each day we are getting closer to reaching equality for all. I have the utmost respect for this man, he will undoubtedly be a man that I search for in heaven to shake his hand.

"Non-violence is a powerful and just weapon. It is a weapon unique in history, which cuts without wounding and enables the man who wields it. It is a sword that heals".

~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

"Nobody puts Baby in the Corner"

Oh how I love this movie!!! Dirty Dancing is a classic, awkward, romantic movie that I absolutely     L O V E. While sitting here, I decide I should blog since it has been awhile since I have.

Student teaching was the most amazing experience I could have asked for. I loved being with the students I had. They came to me with so many crazy problems, I felt like I was female Will Schuester from Glee. Seriously. I had a boy come to my classroom one morning and tell me he was gay. Out of the clear blue, I didn't even know if he was paying attention in class and then he comes and tells me that I am the first person he has told. . . .After lunch fellow classmate comes in to tell me her and her boyfriend broke up. He came out. UH! I didn't even know they were dating, when I asked her, through her tear filled eyes how long they had been dating she tells me "A whole week". Apparently that is a very long time in high school. After counseling these two on different levels I told them that they both needed to be there for one another (can you hear the Full House music being cued for the tender moment) and to not let this get in the way of their friendship. They took the weekend to calm their emotions and the next time I saw them in class they were skipping and painting each others nails again. Precious, I know.

Another students story is not as lively, but still very much like something on Glee. (I use to think they had to have made up all the crazy stroylines, and yes, some of them are still far fetch, but not as far as I use to think). This student was gone for two weeks and upon returning told me about her attempt to take her life and that she was in a treatment clinic getting help. Yeah--thanks for the heads up counselors. As she began to tell me THE WHOLE STORY, I was stunned that this beautiful, talented, "happy" girl would think that she had no reason to live. Once she finished she tells me how she only told the rest of her teachers that she had been in the hospital, and to me, she tells me why she wanted to take her life, what was going on, etc.  After we get her caught up in class, the day before I am finished student teaching, she comes in and tells me that the night before her mother kicked her out. SERIOUSLY!! After everything she has just been through, she spent 3/4 periods that day with me and a counselor trying to figure it all out and where she could stay. I don't know the end to this story, but I hope that it all works out for her.

I loved these kids and how wonderful they were for me, I learned that my teaching style is very laissez-faire and did not let the small things bother me. I thought going in that I would be very structured and rigid, that didn't last a day. 

I wanted them to enjoy learning more than fear me from demanding their respect. And for the most part they began to understand why some nerdy people like me enjoy history and politics. They got to see me get all giddy about a presidential nominee scandal and get angry about Native American assimilation process/treatment. I wanted them to understand it is not the facts that make things matter, to me it is the why things happened and who/how it affected people then, and how it affects me today.

Nice Cardie!

Back to my movie and why I feel like blogging.
I feel so much like Frances, "Baby". I feel so out of place. Really I do, I have stopped taking thousands of pictures.

I have been gone from Ogden for 4 1/2 years and I can definitely see and feel it. All of my friends from high school are either married with kids, on missions, or moved away. My siblings are busy with their lives and friends. And I "carried a watermelon" in my nice cardigan to a p;ace that is filled with people already established and acquainted with one another. 

I'm not getting caught in the middle of crazy situations, I am just stagnant here, while everyone around me knows how to dance, I stand awkwardly trying to find my balance on a tipped over tree.

[Granted, I know how to dance quite well, for the intent for this to run parallel to the movie, I must say that I cannot]

But as the best of the movie, Johnny (Swayze) says "Nobody puts Baby in the Corner". I cannot push myself into seclusion, so I will continue to put myself onto center stage with my quote-unquote "two left feet" until I feel like I belong here. I need to get my camera back out and snap photos of my life.
Maybe I never will in every aspect of my life, but I will never put myself into a spot where I will be unhappy and alone. I love people too much. There is too much to be enjoyed to be in that corner.

Enjoy the clip!! The whole movie is amazing, but this dance is beautiful!!

Breathe, Laugh, & Smile

I will be the first to admit, lately I have been freaking out over the microscopic things. I have had so much on my plate that a pea size issue dropped on it and flipped my day around. Being empathetic is not the best thing at times. Ha ha ha I even had to have a three second freak out to a friend so that I could keep truckin' along.

I was waiting at the doctor with my sister, flipping through an old magazine today and saw Shia LeBouf. I thought about where he started on EVEN STEVENS (check out the link to a video) and as I thought I reminisced on how his character, Lois, would freak out for a second and then continue to persevere. I have to get back into that mentality. I was doing really good if I do say so, but then with the death at my school, end of the quarter, student evaluations, choir, friends & family issues and conversations where I want to help just has caused my head to spin.

So I will take the advice of Lois Stevens to just live life.

........maybe not exactly in this way is life livin', but maybe it is, who knows!!!! :)

Friends and family, thanks for being wonderful!!!! And always helping me build the bridge I need to make it across to the other side!  I know I pitch fits and want to give up sometimes, but you really do inspire me and enable me to continue. You help remind me that the greener pasture is right wherever I am!!

I just need to do a better job at remembering that!!

Halloween is by far my favorite holiday, and I am going to make the most out of what is left of it this stupendously stellar scary month!!!

I started telling some of my friends jokes this week because I love this holiday so much --Q: How do you mend a broken Jack-o-lantern?

 

A:::With  Pumpkin Patch

ha ha ha remembering to breathe laugh and smile, are all essential things to a happy, hopeful, peaceful life.


Until next time, remember to breathe, smile, and giggle daily.
Doctor's orders!!!

Thou Shalt Not Kill

So this has been bothering me since I read about it in the paper. (yes I have become old fashioned and read the paper). The killing of 56 exotic animals in Zanesville, Ohio. (click here to learn more). In a nut shell a very very rich man had these animals at his home. Apparently he had something happen where he felt the only escape was to kill himself. Before doing this, he let out ALL his animals.

That is when the police get involved and decide to kill all the animals rather than tranquilize them and take them to a zoo.

What in the world was the sheriff honestly thinking?!? Perhaps this is just my liberal side shrieking out to a deaf crowd that agrees with the decision that was made, but I do not understand killing 56 animals because they could "potentially" be dangerous if not found after they are tranquilized. 

Number one, if a person is stupid enough to go outside and play with the Lion in their backyard, then they deserve to be lunch for the big cat. I do not think 18 Bengal tigers, 17 lions, 6 black bears, one baboon, 2 grizzly bears, 3 mountain lions and 2 wolves deserved to die because people are stupid, or because Ohio doesn't follow their own regulations on exotic animals and who can own them. The officers that went to the house of the owner, should not have gone without tranquilizers-- it does not make sense to me.

Though I have bombarded myself into my room all weekend to work through some heart wrenching things involving my school that I am teaching at; there are ridiculous things like this that just make my blood boil and will not go away and annoy me because my heart is already hurting. 

Perhaps I am the only one who feels this way about this incident that happened in Ohio. Maybe many people don't care because it happened on the other side of the country, or because it happened in another state, but I cannot express how much sadness this brings my heart that some people find this acceptable to do to this to these endangered animals. That state government allows them to be brought in, but then does not take the necessary procautions to handle the situation if they are to get out.

Killing is not/was not the proper way to handle this predicament. 

 


Also what really threw me over the edge is the fact that A MONKEY is still loose and they are going to kill it because it has Hepatitis. Why does it matter if a monkey has it, it can still go to a zoo if it has this condition. It is not like a zoo will turn him away for having a medical issue like some insurance companies.

I just feel very saddened that this had to happen and that A MAN thought that this was acceptable way to handle the situation and that people followed his distasteful orders.

Lessons from Friends

I have a friend on National Television. He is on the Sing Off  on NBC and they are doing remarkable!! (They being BYU Vocal Point). The camera loves him and follows him everywhere. You should totally tune in to watch, Mondays on NBC @ 7:00. Super Charismatic.

My friend is the one third in on the left, good ol' Jake.

Then I have friend who is at Northwestern University getting his law degree. He just accepted an offer with a firm in Chicago!! He is 22 years old!!! Super Smart & Determined.

Then I have a friend has more friends then the M&M plant has M&M's. Super Outgoing.

I'm the Green one 8th down from the top :]

 And then there is me who is changing the world one student at a time!!!

I love how we all impact the world in very different ways. Not just the few people in this post, but EVERYONE!! We all have the opportunity to be great examples to the people around us, whether it be on t.v. with celebrities around us, or by protecting the little guy in court, or by teaching someone something new, or by just being a friend to someone who needed a friend. Anyone who reads this blog, you have impacted someone, most likely me. You have made me the person that I am. Thank you for being great!!!

I have a song stuck in my head that I feel is appropriate to share. It is to celebrate friendships already made and any fun times we have had and for new friends that I will soon make memories with. This song is just so chipper and happy and I just LOVE it!!! There is happiness everywhere!!!!

The Day

I woke up. It was Tuesday. I got ready for the day. As I waited for the time to slowly pace closer to the time I needed to leave for school, I grabbed a piece of toast and turned on the news. I watched trying to get some current event for class. I saw a headline Breaking News. I thought 'great, this will be a good one for class'. A plane crashed into a building. I kept forgetting the name of the building. I wrote WTC on my left palm to help me remember. I continued to listen to the reporters going back and forth on words such as 'accident', 'attack', 'engine issue', 'terrorist'!
I called my mom to see her thoughts on the matter. As we sat in the living room watching the T.V., not more than 3 minutes of us watching, a plane hit the second building. I saw it. I watched a plane crash into a the building. I knew right then and there that we were under attack. I looked at my palm and realized this was a name I would never forget on this day.

I was 12. Trying to find a current event for Ms. Sly's Utah History 7th period class. At school that day, I watched the attack unfold and the discoveries the media was finding. I didn't know how to feel. I saw something I will never forget.

Ten years have now passed. Ten years of wars. I'm not going to write about my thoughts and opinion on these wars. Rather, since the attack, we have, as a country become closer. I watched a documentary, 7 days in September that expresses how this shaped us. I am always amazed to see how united we come to help a mass of people who are suffering. When forced to do good things, we can do great things.


I mourn for those who have lost someone in the past ten years, either on 9/11 or in the wars. On the 5th anniversary I was a junior and created an essay on the attack. I read about the people. The firemen, the civilians, the victims of hatred and I understood then that it was not just two buildings that fell and a side of the pentagon. It was lives that were lost. A mother, a father, a sister, a cousin, a brother, a friend, each one of these people that died meant something to someone. I cannot forget the human side this attack had on all those affected.


I know this is something small to remember the 9/11 attack, but even after ten years, I remember the detail of that day so clearly. But how long will we as a country? I hope that that we continue to educate kids, who were babies on 9/11/2001 and tell them what is still affecting all of us now and will continue for many years to come.

Oh Happy Me

I was looking back on some of the things that I have blogged on, and I usually always blog on something that is frustrating me. As I read my own words I sounded like a huge complainer, so to change that, I want to blog about the amazing Summers I have the opportunity to have. They have truly been remarkable. I have worked with Especially For Youth (EFY) for three summers now, two of which I have been over counselors that are in charge of 12-15 youth. I have loved being a Building Counselor because I was able to meet kids that I would have not met if I had my own set of youth. For instances, my friends in the picture below:

These boys helped me more than they will ever know, and I am so glad I was able to meet them. The two boys in the center are the ones who introduced me to the rest of the crew. They were such a delight to work with and here there stories and how different each one of them ones due to their personality and what they had experienced in this life. I hope that they can remember how amazing they each are. They are very very awesome guys! They made me really excited to be a teacher and be around kids like them for more than a week and see if I can help them get through the rough times we all face in life!!!
It is reasons like "my boys" that remind me why I love this job so much. I was able to help, in a sense, just by being kind to them and not snubbing them like they had experienced so many times from members. I am not trying to sound like I am tooting my own horn, all I want to express is that kindness changes peoples hearts and brings them back to Christ more than labeling that person as a project and treating them like you do a dirty, worn out shoe.

Another reason I am so grateful for this job is in reference to the amazing people I meet that are my age. I love the friendships that I have had that started at EFY. It is nice because I have such a different level of friendship with these people than I do with my other friends. I am able to hear their testimony constantly at work and I know that I can go to them for anything that I need. One more glorious thing, counselors love to serve :)
This year a lot of them go to USU, and I am so sad that I will be in Ogden student teaching, but I know that I will be up there 9/10 weekends to party it up and go crazy with them!!

Fist week Team!!

Loved having fun during Service.

One Amazing BC team!!

One of our many adventures!

 My BC team, well we were quite the bunch! We all had so many different qualities to bring to the table that we had quite the time adjusting to each other, lets be honest. BUT we made it work and we had a blast. It was a true delight to work with Nicole, Colby, & Braden again this Summer. It was fun to see how different a team can be when only half of it changes. I have loved both Summers as a BC and they are completely uncomparable. Last Summer, I spent most of my time with my BC team & youth; this Summer I focused more on the Counselors & youth. Good heavens, this Summer was more techy for some reason, we all found out our love languages and what color we are. I am so grateful for the friends I have made from my team this year. Because of Laurie & Jay, I now must say I have friends that go to BYpooh ;) I now can say I have a friend who will be famous one day, a friend who constantly had a smile on their face that was so infectious. I now have a friend who was as positive and real as one gets, even when yelling at an old crotchety woman at Village Inn. I now have a friend who was an example to me on letting things roll off your back and getting the job done. There are so many qualities that I have taken from my new friends that are molding me into a better person. So thank you all for being such a superb example to me in various ways!!!

my old team.
2010 team.Constant water fights--that I ALWAYS won!!!!

From both Summers I have learned and grown as an individual, spiritually, as well as humanly. I know that sounds odd, humanly, but  it is true. I have seen how well I can handle and try to understand people rather than condemn them. I'm sure some of this is from personal experience. I was able to understand this Summer why a youth would become angry due to us asking them to cut their hair to be at a camp they are forced to be at from their parents. Rather then say "it's just hair" I listened to their frustration and got to some core issues. And by being able to tell them that I understood what they were saying really helped. They usually laughed when I would show them pictures of my purple hair and how I had to get rid of it for EFY.
I wanted to do better at not being a Frankenstein rule orientated BC, I wanted to help the individual more than focus on the rule. I think by doing this I was able to do my job better and help lots of counselors as well as youth.
I love this program, when I tell people about it I become so overjoyed by the memories of the changes I have seen this program make in the youth that come lives, and for the memories that I have with the counselors, my team, and session director lessons. It is a program for the youth, but I get so much out of it that I keep going back!!It helps remind me that even though this world continues to become more dark and wicked, the church will continue to shine brighter to counter the darkness and these youth that I have had the opportunity to work with are helping build that light. The counselors are helping to show that light and continue to build up Zion. I am truly grateful for the opportunity that I had to work EFY for three summers.

I thought it appropriate to put in at least one of the model shots we took along with our ninjas shots!!! :) ha ha ha

Thanks for taking time to read or browse the pictures!!!

.

Dear EFY Counselors and Particpants

Hello Girls & Boys. This is the video that I have shown in various parts of EFY this summer. I put it here so that you have easy access to it. 

Best of luck with your endeavors.

"I AM"

ignoring or ignorant

People cannot hear.

People want to say that they are tolerant, yet when they open their mouth they scream hatred.

In my opinion the government primary concern should be to protect our country and focus on the economic issues. The economic issues are the issues where some gray area resides between the black and white sides. The government should be much less focused on social issues. The reason I say this is because there is no compromise on social issues. No gray whatsoever, a person is either on the black side or the white, No if and or buts about it. No decision on social issues will ever please everyone. 

With that, I get so sick and tired of hearing the idea that I am a hypocrite for going to church and being a faithful latter-day saint and am told that I am going to Hades for wanting people to be loved for who they are.

Why are people so forgetful in their pride?

LOVE is the greatest commandment we have been given.

Love is what matters, everything else is trivial to love.

So why is it that people continually forget that? What is it that causes people to let their pride lead on what they believe with social issues and justify taking away a person's right to be loved.
Those people need to deal with their own issues before condemning another.
"And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but not consider the beam that is in thine own eye?' (Matthew 7:3 KJV).

I feel as though those people want me to wear a masquerade mask to cover what I believe and conform to what they believe because they fear a different opinion and cannot tolerate it. Therefore, they would like it silenced. I won't do that. I cannot do that. I have never been one to just conform because it would be easier. No matter what age, sex, religion, race, sexual orientation, they are my equal and I want to spread love not hate.

I wish I had these answers to solve all the issues that people have with other peoples opinions, but all I have is rambled thoughts in a blog post that you are reading.

Logan Bucket List

I have one month exactly left in Logan. It's crazy! I can't believe I am graduating. My brain cannot even wrap itself around it. I have many different thoughts and feelings about leaving this place I have called home for 4 years now and the family I have made for myself while here. My friends are amazing and have really made my college experience. 
I remember thinking I was so mature when I graduated high school. My first semester here, I realized I know nothing about this big blue marble and all the speckles on it. I still know nothing, but I know that I don't and am striving to. 
So before I leave I have a Bucket list. I know that I will definitely back to visit some boys and girls while I student teach, but it won't be the same. 


Here is my 10 things to do before I leave:

1. Hike the Wellsville Mountains(--this is happening sometime in June, for anyone who would like to join, let me know. It is going to be fun!!!)

2. Go to the The Factory Pizzeria    This was done April 16. Gotta love it when friends come up to visit and we go to eat!!

3. Go to the Wind Caves (granted I have done this, but I love it)

4. Go to the junky movie theatre This was done April 15th. We went and saw Red Riding Hood. Interesting film, I'm still trying to decide if I liked it.

5. Pull one more all nighter-for fun not for school work

6. Go to a bon fire. 

7. Write some personal letters to friends

8. Play Night Games

9. Go swing dancing
10. Ice Block Old Main Hill

I am excited to leave Logan. I am going to miss everyone like crazy, but I am excited to teach. It has been a fun while here, but everything comes to a close.

Festivities and Crashes

I have a beautiful life. I have a privileged life with good people in it. This month has been full of adventures. From vacations, to weddings, to my computer dying ( RIP Petunia) it has been a  memorable month.


To start it all out, Spring Break in Las Vegas baby! One of my favorite vacation places. Spring Break was WARM! It was great to actually do something rather than just work. The first couple of days on our journey was just in Southern Utah. There is no way in Hades that if I went to school there that I would actually stay inside and do school work. I would constantly be out hiking and going on adventures. (Probably a big reason USU has such a great stat standing for education students receive--we have to stay inside to avoid frostbit for 327 days out of the year). 

I have a lot of fond memories from Raspberry Butterfinger "mini" shake, to awkward statues, to choosing between monkey molestation or frisky old man in "would you ever". This trip reiterated to me the best part of a road trip is the road. Being cooped in a car with two other people for 8 hours is a blast. I don't know what it is about a vehicle but it is like a confession box, people open up....

But to get back to Vegas, getting lost and finding a drug lords house and seeing if we could stay there always make for fun stories to look back on a smile.

Cheering on the Aggies to a championship was delightful. We had such a great turn out from our school. It makes me really proud to say that I am an Aggie, but terribly sad to leave it behind to start the new chapter in my life. 

I think this new chapter that is opening, as scary as it is with how quickly it is coming, is also very exhilarating. I can't believe I am almost a college graduate. I don't feel old enough or smart enough. But I am loving the fun that comes from it.

Mr. & Mrs. Hansen

In the middle of this month, one of my life long friends found the man of her dreams and was married to him until the end of forever. She looked beautiful and he looked dashing. I am so happy that they allowed me to share their special day with them. I wish them all the happiness in the world. I am so happy for her, she has always been a great example to me and I love her for always being a great friend. I remember when we were little and our sleepovers full of boy talk, being in plays together and falling head over heels for the lead, being teenage girls together. I am very excited for their future together. Congratulations.

After this fantastic weekend, my technological life died. Petunia died about 20- 30 minutes after I printed off a bill that I had to write for my simulation class. I wanted to scream when she wouldn't run. I thought I lost EVERYTHING: my documents, my music, pictures, lesson plans, my school work. The 4 and half years we had together was gone in a second. I took it to Geek Squad the next day, and the numb skulls really don't know anything I am afraid, but they did tell me that I needed a new one that they could/would not look to see whar the problem was unless I forked over the amount of money it would cost to get a new one. I took Petunia from them and held her as I looked for her replacement. It is so sad how dependent I am on, as many are, on technology and when it breaks, we are screwed.

I now have a new laptop and it is sheik. And luckily, over Christmas Break, I put all my pictures, documents and 2/13 of my music onto an external hard drive (that is all that would fit). I am still sad and would still love to get all my stuff from Petunia's memory, so if anyone reading this knows of any way to pull things from a hard drive that does not have my user name on it, let me know. It is weird, everything is still on it, I just cannot access any of it, sadly. RIP Petunia I miss you little Gateway Lady, you were amazing for 4 and 1/2 years.

But after every tragedy there needs to be a celebration and I celebrated by going to the Festival of Colors. It was amazing. Prior to this attendance, I had yet gone, and I am now addicted. I can't wait to go next year. The girls I went with were a riot, we had so much fun together and had some real deep conversations. At the festival a man gave a little speech that caused me to ponder. Even though he was talking about celebrating differences, I want to celebrate this point in my life. 


[More to this thought below the pictures]

before

after

Driving a hour like this was interesting

Adventures are what this time of my life should be all about. Yes, the future is scary, trying to figure out and plan out the years ahead is scary. So I am going to focus on tomorrow. tomorrow can be simple and easier than thinking about the next 60 years. I want to do one thing each day that scares me. Going to the festival of colors was a blast- texting the car full of boys on the freeway who were from Utah's top hat was scary and spontaneous. My freak flag is continuing to soar, and is going to continue through April.

Thanks for making this month a memorable March!