Gaining Perspective

I was looking around the food court today while I hurried and ate during my break. I watched as people conversed with their company. I began to wonder what each of these individuals do. 

Who are they. 

What is their life story.

I began to stare at the table where two officers were seated and a citizen. I watched as the one officer was retelling the story of close-lining a delinquent. I could assume that this happened a little bit ago, for his partners face was filled with boredom by hearing the same story so many times. But to the other, she was engaged so much that I thought she was going to fly off her chair with anticipation. 

I then proceeded to scroll what had then become my entertainment and watched a proud mother show off her Christmas pictures of her children. Telling her friends what each of them is doing and how successful they all are.

I wonder how different each of their individual lives are. And how interwoven all of our lives are in each others. People are in a constant web of contacts. Today, I rang up some of their merchandise, but with all in the food court, we were able to share a meal together.
Today I gained a greater appreciation for one of the many simple things in my life. People watching helped open my eyes to people and their different stories and how each of us have a different life and different circumstances that make us who we are today.

The Chicken or the Egg?

Let’s be real for a minute. Sometimes (and by sometimes I do mean for the majority of situations) being a good person is not worth it. You get stepped all over; people will take advantage of you because they can.  What is the point in being a good person? Especially when you get told that after they have used you for a long period of time. Think about that in whatever way you can in your own life (i.e. by being there for them, but them not being there for you: doing more of the assignment: being misled). I have felt this.
It is like having your entire body covered in paper cuts, and once that person says "you are such a good person" or “you are a great friend” it feels as though they have thrown lemon juice all over you. It’s like they know it is a dagger in your heart, so they turn it. I don't know if anyone else has experienced this. But after coming to the realization of this phenomenon I thought to myself, 'being called a good person is no longer a compliment, but rather an insult'. Good people are seen as being naive for trying to help, stupid for allowing people to walk on them like a door mat, and an idiot for not becoming bitter and being the walker rather than the walked on. Has this occurred because so many people are only out to better their life? Have we become that heartless as a generation? A country? A world?
I am not saying that I am not at fault for this predicament that faces all of us. But I have realized this. Since this realization that came early on in my life, I have been trying to be the one getting the lemon juice poured onto me than doing the pouring. Though it stings, especially when those closest to me are the ones hurting me, I have to realize that they do not understand. They have not had this epiphany, or they have yet to experience being used, or they were used and became bitter that they now use everyone. I hope that when these people in my life do, I hope that I will be able to empathize with them, after all I have been through this countless times, and every time hurts just as much. But the pain goes away, and it becomes a cycle with some. I'm full of metaphors today, so here is one more. It is like a scar, it no longer hurts, but you remember the pain from when you got it. The same goes with being a decent person and being used. For me, I remember getting used by a certain persons at different stages of my life (as I am sure many can).
Call me foolish, but I always hope that if I help them, talk to them, and continue to be a good person and friend, that they will not hurt/use me again. Yet, the majority I am in a cycle. Looking to my perfect example and the life He led, I know that I will have temporal pain, but eternal satisfaction for helping someone in the time they needed it. I am hopeful for others, not naive.
I am learning. I am continuing to grow as a person. I am learning more about myself in these situations than I think I could any other way.

This has always been interesting to me, and I just wanted to jot down my thoughts about it.

Oh. Here comes the snow!

I love the snow, I love when the snowflakes are ginormous and I catch one in my mouth. But I only love snow for the month of December. I love seeing houses with Christmas lights and  snow. This is one of my favorite memories of the Christmas season from when I was little, driving around and seeing all the pretty lit houses. When there is snow all around, it makes Christmas lights appear even brighter. But when I cannot even see outside my living room window because of all the snow.... 

it is too much snow!!

I do love how I can snuggle in a blanket, sipping my hot coco and watch everyone walk by freezing outside. I can just sit inside loving the snow. However, when I am out trying to walk to class I hate it! I obviously have a love hate relationship with snow. I think that it is more hate than love.

I know what you are thinking, 'if you hate the snow so much, why do you go to a school where it is snowing for 7/9 months you are there'?  Because I love everything else that my school has to offer. I love the friends I have up here, the education I am receiving, the small town feel that only can be felt in places like here. The snow is only a side note to all the things I love about this place. 

Elvis Presley

Elvis-the secret idol of everyone!

Lets be honest, if you have not seen an Elvis Presley movie, you have not lived!! They are the cheesiest and yet most amazing movies ever!!!                                                                              This lovely break from school I have been able to watch three of them: "Fun in Acapulco", "Frankie & Johnny", and "Girls Girls Girls". If you have yet to watch one, I suggest Girls Girls Girls or Blue Hawaii.

Hmmm maybe I should just have an Elvis Party and then you can really experience the amazingness of Elvis!!

One of the ugliest things in the world I constantly see is contention. It is a wood to a fire of hate and insensitivity. I get so sick of seeing it, hearing it, and then being encompassed in it, in that moment in time when I find myself doing it, I run!! 
I run to get away from everything and take a moment to breathe. At the moment of this deep breath I think so many random thoughts and questions of frustration, fear, and anxiety. 
I then try to let it all go, but is that possible? 
Can I just forget about the things that cause my mind to run circles, trying to see it from every angle, and then just let go?
Yep. I can. Mind over matter baby. Or I guess in this case mind over mind. Ha ha.
I love the fact that I can do whatever I see fit, I can find alternate means to get around a rock or a pothole that is one my path of life, all I have to do is stop and look at it and then find that route.

Grateful for this day

I am eternally grateful for a holiday of good food, good company, no school and a day when the nation can thank their Creator for the blessings we have. 
I am so blessed. I am grateful to live in a country where I have the right to do the things I want. Being able to gain an education is one of the greatest blessings to me. A chance to better myself and to make a better life for everyone that is to come into the world. An opportunity to leave everything better then how I found it because I have the obligation to by being as blessed as I have been. 
Tis the season to spread love through anyway that makes somebody else feel blessed by what I have done.


I love this holiday and I thank President Lincoln for establishing this during a time in our history that was darkest we had ever faced and probably will ever face as a nation.

The Ability to Achieve

This is my very first blog and I believe it suits me very well with who I am the reality of life. Before you even read, thank you for reading.


Through worries and stresses of life- school, family, friends, and my own mind, I have been blessed with the knowledge that I can do whatever I set my mind to. Though it was not an easy journey to come to this place. 
Strength is found after much perseverance through heavy and sometimes troubling twists and turns on this road we call life. Maybe your life is not where you wish it was, maybe you feel like your life is too hard. Don't give up on whatever it is that you believe in. Giving up on your beliefs is like throwing your life jacket off when you are stuck in the middle of the ocean. It is much harder to stay alive when you believe in nothing.
For me, I had to decide if my belief in myself was strong enough to overcome a recent challenge. At first, I wasn't. I felt very low and lost that I did not know how to pick myself back up, nor did I have the desire to. After a couple hours/days of negative thinking and a river I created from my tears, I realized "I have to move on". I have heard this riddle and find it to be very fitting- 
What do you do when you find yourself in a hole with no ladder and no way to get out?  

You must stop digging. 

This fits who I am so well. 
Wallowing was not getting me anywhere but further and further in a hole of desperation and isolation. I was not letting those who were hearing me give me a ladder, I had to stop digging to get out and ask for help, and reflect in a constructive way to get myself out a predicament that was partially (mostly) self inflicted. 
Most of this strength I have found comes to me through multiple places. I find strength through my family, my friends, conversations with good people who genuinely care,  uplifting quotes, and definitely my faith in a God and His son, my Savior and Redeemer Jesus Christ. Though the ones listed are very important to me, I get much strength from people I do not know, through their powerful words in music. The reason I bring this up is 1) Music is something that people can all relate to if they want and 2) for the strength that I find in a bizarre song by Prince. I know you may now think that I am crazy but at the beginning of his song it is powerful and everything that I am trying to express in this blog is said simply by him: 

Let's Go Crazy- Prince

Dearly beloved

We are gathered here today

to get through this thing called life

Electric word life

It means forever and that's a mighty long time

But I'm here to tell you

There's something else

The afterworld

A world of never ending happiness

You can always see the sun, day or night

So when you call up that shrink in Beverly Hills

You know the one - Dr Everything'll Be Alright

Instead of asking him how much of your time is left

Ask him how much of your mind, baby 

Cause in this life

Things are much harder than in the afterworld

In this life

You're on your own

And if the elevator tries to bring you down

Go crazy - punch a higher floor

The rest of the song is quite an upbeat tune and makes me smile. Give it a listen the next time you don't feel like you have strength to stop digging. We have the ability to choose what will rock us and what will make us stronger. Though at first you may feel weak, don't give up. Persevere in whatever it is you believe in and you will make it through.